all types of jokes are encouraged......

Feel free to post JOkes n make others taunt 11

Women · Men · Peace · War
A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she was going to receive the usual three wishes.

The Genie said, "Nope ... due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So ... what'll it be?"

The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."

The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."

The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is good in bed and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That's what I wish for ... a good mate."

The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "Let me see that fucking map!"

Prostitute asked Plastic Surgeon 2 make another hole for her.
Surgeon was surprised & asked Y?
She answered : Business is good, so opening a new branch....

11... ... nice ones

smart boy...
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.
Unknown to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.
Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet.
The boy now has company.

Boy: Dark in here..
Man: Yes it is.
Boy: I have a baseball.
Man: That's nice.
Boy: Want to buy it?
Man: No, thanks.
Boy: My dad's outside.
Man: OK, how much?
Boy: $250.

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover
are in the closet together.

Boy: Dark in here.
Man: Yes, it is.
Boy: I have a baseball glove.
Man: How much?
Boy: $750.
Man: Fine.

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball." The boy say! s, "I can't. I
sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says, "$1,000." The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that, that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father alerts the priest, and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here." the priest says, "Don't start that shit again."

11 omg 11

NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.

She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

booo coudnt get though.... so some gud english ppl Explain... coz i love adult jokes

OMG.. me not good in english. well but i guess i wil try to explain
the gal is naked, n the kid is talkin bout no seat belts. 4get tht. hell, no clothes yaar

machi DRG dnt say it as ur copy its my own....


there was a boy in city who was going to church everyday...the church was situated outside the city which been separated by small river..so he have to took a long route to go to church everyday..one day GOD appeared before him and asked him to say a wish...


GOD:boy say a wish
BOY:GOD ,since there is river in between i have to take a long route ..which been difficult so i want a bridge in between..to connect it..
GOD:It is very difficult my son since the plain is not so smooth..so ask me another one..
BOY:k..GOD..let me have the power of knowing WOMEN MIND ...
GOD:HOW MANY LANES U WANT FOR THE BRIDGE

The story explain tat it is very difficult to understand a WOMEN MIND...

Lamer Bluwolf

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. This being a big event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and "do it" for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent's house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in." The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy still deep in prayer with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, "I had no idea you were so religious." The boy turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

11 ... nice ones

A man sees a woman getting chased by a dog in chandni chowk area of New Delhi.

When the dog is about to bite the woman, the man intervenes and kicks
the dog.

A Times of India reporter was seeing all this.

He said "That was great.

I'll definitely publish this in our newspaper.

Tomorrow the headline will be 'LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM A DOG'."

The man replied "Thank you, but I'm not from here. I am from US".

Reporter said " OK. Then the headline will be US CITIZEN SAVES WOMAN
FROM A DOG".

Man: Actually, I live in US but I'm not a US citizen.

I'm a Pakistani national by origin".

Next day, the headline in the paper read

.....

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Pakistani Terrorist ATTACKS A LOCAL DOG

'Now then,' said the warden addressing the three instigators of a failed prison riot. 'I would like to know two things.

First: Why did you revolt?
Second: How did you get out of your cell?'

One of the three men stepped forward, 'Warden, we rebelled because the food is awful.'

Warden: 'I see. And the cell? What did you use to break the bars?'

Replied the spokesman, 'Toast....